With a mix of Millennials and Gen-Z, Indians are going through a unique evolution in dating and seeing how relationships are changing with each passing day.
While the experiences may differ, the lessons are almost similar for many because love doesn`t come with a syllabus and past years` question papers to study from to nail it.
It is also the reason why there is a lesson even in failure, chaos, and awkward first chats. Indian dating app QuackQuack surveyed 9500 users, asking them to share the lessons and trends of the “chaotic classroom” that is modern dating. The result did not disappoint; from overprepped daters to teacher`s pet syndrome, the participants revealed several trends that proved that all aspects of dating have something to offer; if not a relationship, at least a valuable lesson.
The app`s founder and CEO, Ravi Mittal, commented, “Modern dating is a crash course on life. Every wrong move, rejection, and love found and lost, offers insight that not just helps decide the next move but also shapes how people think, live, and love. This survey shows that daters are not just embracing these lessons, they are enjoying them.”
The study was conducted among daters from metros and suburban areas of India, ranging in age from 18 to 28. Respondents came from various educational and professional backgrounds, spanning IT, healthcare, law, finance, and more. The group also included business owners, startup founders, and individuals currently between jobs.
Overpreppers
33 per cent of daters over 25 years of age called themselves over-preppers in dating, drawing comparison with that one kid in school who studied every chapter. These singles revealed that they examine which message has yielded the best response, what icebreaker works the best, analyse questions to ask during the first chat, and thoroughly study their match`s bio and interests. Funnily enough, they also shared that often their overprepping makes them more nervous than confident. Anshuman, a software developer from Delhi, jokes, “I prepare every time I get a match; down to the last T, I fully prepare for everything, and still, every single time, I find that the conversation just takes a different angle and I end up having to go impromptu. It`s sad and funny at the same time. I would say spontaneity is much more fun, but I cannot help myself from overprepping.”
Teacher`s pet syndrome
If you find yourself constantly seeking approval and craving validation, 28 per cent of Gen-Z dates from Tier 1 cities said that it might be a sign of Teacher`s Pet Syndrome. The study reveals that 2 in 7 daters have this syndrome, characterised by constant anxiety over whether their text was received well, overanalyzing a simple “haha”, double-texting, expecting a reaction to every comment, or repeatedly checking for a reply. Approximately 18 per cent of women and 11 per cent of men disclosed falling into the pattern, some even admitting to asking for feedback on how well they did during the first interaction. Most of these daters cited that dating is actually more enjoyable when you care less about brownie points and more about organically connecting.
Open-book dating
22 per cent of daters between 20 and 28 claimed that the simplest lesson is always the hardest to practice, and in this case, it`s being an open book to their matches. 3 in 5 singles reported that when they were most honest with their match, the connection was the strongest. However, the same respondents also mentioned that it isn`t easy being honest because it makes you vulnerable. Tarun from Mumbai said, “I guess teachers were right: honesty is the best policy. I stopped playing the cool boy and started being my awkwardly honest self, and finally met the love of my life. Up until then, my matches were just matches.”
Revision
Some daters never got out of their `revision phase` since school days. But in dating, it is a bit more nuanced and might even be a hazard. About 12 per cent of male daters from Tier 1 and 2 cities confessed to revisioning past matches. It was almost always out of nostalgia, a craving for familiarity, and comfort; some explained that they went back for clarity and closure. But the biggest takeaway for at least 8 in 10 of these daters was that leaving the chapter was the best decision.
